Here are the services that I offer:

First I'm a computer Guru, so everything computer I do (I do a little hardware, 35 years of Software Development and Consulting)
    Secondly I am a Pianist with 50 years experience. I play the modes. I make you into a master. I make it so you can record records.
    And I wish to give you my occult bio, so that you may know who I am (hopefully without violating too many oaths, LOL) 
    

    I have done the entire right hand path
My favorite? Martinism. I am a novice, there.
I like practical Kabbalah, especially Robert Ambelain.
I have been in many orders, seen many things.
Mainly I help others.
Occasionally I advance myself.
I believe in the law of Light, Life, Love, and Liberty.
I was in the golden dawn for a short while under the FLO/LVX Occulta, imperator, James Eshelman. (Who wrote the book on the Argentum Astrum)
I was in 4 or 5 AAs.
I studied under AMORC and the Martinist Order.
I studied the LBRP under Ebony Apu for over 1 years without anything else.
I have been celibate for the duration of my marriage 27 years. Now I am moving to the Left hand path.
  I have sacrificed, been homeless, practiced forgiveness, bahkti, studied with Gurus, etc.
  My Heroes are Milton H Erickson, Yogi Bhajan, and many others.
The right hand path was completed. I studied and completed the ascension through the Great White Brotherhood, Elizabeth Clare Prophet (and Mark Prophet, Rosicrucian, Amorc)
Just check my Facebook and you will know me.
Neville Goddard was my last accomplishment.
I studied Kriya through the Ajapa Gurus, namely Guru Prasadji. But I switched this year to Babaji/Lahiri Mahasaya/Yogananda. And my crown chakra went crazy.
I am a part of most secret iniatiatory orders.
Of late, I joined the Knights of Columbus and the Knights of Pythias, my great grandfather is legacy.
I was in Ronald Reagan's Fraternity but quit as I don't believe in hazing. Tau Kappa Epsilon.
I went to school at UC Berkeley and studied cults with professor emeritus Richard Ofsche.
I went to school at UC Santa Cruz and studied performance arts on the piano under Nohema Fernandez.
I have a purple belt in Kosho Ryu. (Mitose)
I have a yellow belt in Bok Fu Do. (Brother of Hoyce Gracie)
I'm studying Muy Thai and Cage Fighting.
I am gentle as a kitten but roar like a lion.
I became a pranayama master at age 23.
I am a Reiki Master and can do Shaktipat. 
I received Shaktipat from Sri Mataji
Here are my offerings
    Initiation to become Reiki Master
    Reiki Healing through Shaktipat
    Pranayama Teaching
    Drive traffic to your brick and mortar store (Change the title, and add offerings) 
    Piano Master - Will teach you to become the best - simple but efficient lessons
    Master Chef
    Alchemist - I make smoothies
    I'm a Man of God
    I'm a man of Sophia
    I'm a man of Isis
    

    I'll teach you the ascension process
    I'll teach you forgiveness
    I'll teach you how to pray
    

    I am a Christian
    I am a Jew
    I am a Kabbalist
      I'll make you one too! 
    

    Don't settle for nothing
    But go for the dream
    I'll make you a new person
    And those around you will scream
    When they see your new found 
    wealth, they'll want to know why
    If you don't get my services 
    You'd be better off to die. 
    

    I'll teaach you the Near death experience
    I'll teach you how to really read the bible
    I'll teach you bibliomancy
    I'll teach you unity consciousness
    I'll teach you the tree of life 
    And if you're found worthy, the tree of death
    I'll initiate you into the space of Ganesha 
    

    Prepare yourself 
    For a paradigm shift
    I also teach piano
    I also teach table tennis
    I can teach you to speed read
    And I can teach you speed read
    And I can teach you to do multiple things at one time
    

    The reality is, I can help you with most anything
    If you just lend m e your ear
    I don't require much sometimes,
    sometimes even just a beer
    

    I can teach you love
    I can teach you lust
    I'll teach you sacred sounds
    I'll teach you fairy dust
    

    I'll help you find your guru
    Even free Shaktipat (it doesn't hurt to have two) 
    I'll teah you masters the ones up above, 
    who shade the world like an updside down dove 
    Whatever you need, please come to me
    I'll make you rich and you will see
    All this times your eyes been closed, time to awake 
    and find your damn nose!!!
    

    I'll teach you Kriya
    I'll teach you Meditation
    I'll teach you Buddhism
    I'll teach you all the mantras like Marishi Mahes Yoga
    

    I don't have all siddhis, far from not, 
    but I do have all connections, inside and out. 
    Should you want some simple advice, 
    Just come to me and we'll get rid of vice. 
    

    I'll give you 1 Mantra, Transcendental it Will Be,
    I'll give you a book list, by formal decree
    I'm starting a temple, so just wait for that 
    And be glad I'll sell services, so I don't get fat. 
    I don't fuck around, serious as shit, 
    If you try to fuck me, you'll go to the pit. 
    

    So if you are serious and you want change 
    Come get your Occult-Empowerment and 
    You will see result. 
    

    I've been through it all
    To hell and back 
    And also to heaven 
    Where time begins to crack 
    

    So don't be afraid
    Come today
    Don't tally no longer
    Let's get together and play
    

    I'll teach you secrets, 
    Only the Masters know, 
    I'm a master also, 
    all others in tow. 
    
 
    They're behind me, be assured of that, 
    And should they try to bind me, 
    They'll be knocked flat.